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Thursday, December 24, 2009

I'm Just Saying:
There Is A Difference Between an Abusive Relationship and a Violent Couple.


I purposely refrained from joining the blogosphere's ongoing conversation about the Chris Brown/Rhianna situation.  I reserved judgment while details filtered in about the violent attack, so much so that it annoyed some friends of mine.  I found myself having mixed feelings about the incident, specifically relating to whether or not Rhianna hit Chris first and whether or not the two had a history of physically assaulting each other, as in my mind these two details were paramount to my understanding of what actually ensued.

While I would never excuse the gravity of the attack, or expunge Chris of his violent behavior, I also can't pretend not to recognize that some women (really individuals, as this is not a gender specific characteristic) have a propensity for instigation. I recognize that this isn't a PC statement.  I recognize that it isn't a sentiment that you want to reinforce in vulnerable young women.  Yet still, the truth is some women are violent and some women use their gender as a shield for bad social behavior.  Case in point, one Mrs. Mary J. Blige who is fervently denying recent reports that she punched her husband while attending her album release party last night.

While this is sad and unfortunate news, perhaps it will open up the domestic violence discussion to include accountability of all aggressive parties - because there is a difference between an abusive relationship (relationships where one person is the aggressor and one person is the victim) and a physically violent couple (relationships where both parties act as both aggressors and victims).

Do unto others as you would have them do to you.  I'm just saying... Ladies if it's NEVER okay for a man to put his hands on you, you should NEVER feel justified in putting your hands on a man.  Ladies behave like ladies.
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